Patch

This is the slot canyon that President Bush’s Special Operations Commando Team tried to trap Rob and his friends.


Rob's Friends

Tony Begaye, The Worlds Ugliest Indian.

Major Dave Jones, Ex Air Force Intel Officer.

And Rich, Supected Extra-Terrestrail





UFO Cave near Kayenta, Navajo Nation.


…. “How in the hell am I and my little gang going to save the world from George W. Bush clones?”

I was sitting just inside the entrance of the cave that the beach ball UFO made, running this question around and around my brain. Just how does one destroy clones? Let alone clones of a President of the United States. Dave and Tony are in the back of the cave preparing something to eat. Rich is still sitting and staring off into space, making noises like a computer modem. President Bush’s commando team has been gone for about three hours now, everything appears quiet.

It has been one hell of a 4th of July, Helicopter demonstration fly-by, a commando raid, and a visit from the President of the United States. And all before noon! I’ve been sitting here ever since the commando team left, trying to come up with a plan of action. The UFO is still casting a pale yellow light vial over the cave entrance. Dave, Tony, and I all agreed that is not good news, we are assuming that as long as the UFO is doing this, danger is near at hand.

And it was! I was just getting up to go back and speak to Dave and Tony, when four commandos came crawling across the cave entrance. Oh man, now what? These commandos are right on the other side of the light vial, no more then 6 in. from me. The commandos setup a spotting scope and started observing the area where the Navajo Hogan stood.

So far none of us have been brave enough to touch the light vial, we assumed that wouldn’t be good for our health. But now, with one of Bush’s commandos less then an arms reach from me, I couldn’t resist the urge to reach through the light and goose one of them.

Big mistake, huge mistake! As I reached out, the beach ball UFO shot a tentacle like string down touching the back of my hand. KA-POW, ten thousand volts of electricity went shooting through me, throwing me ass over tea cup back into the cave, knocking Dave and Tony over and slamming me up against one of the horses. This spooks the hell out of the horses and they begin stomping and kicking, there was camping gear of all sorts flying around the cave, sleeping bags, cook sets, tents, packs, flying everywhere.

Tony jumped up and got the horses under control and Dave ran to me to see what happened. I’m stunned and completely numb, can’t feel a thing, I can see but can’t hear or breathe. I can read Dave’s lips saying to Tony “CPR.” I glance at Tony, thinking, the world’s ugliest Indian is going to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation on me. This thought jumps starts my heart to about 10 thousand beats a minute and enables me to suck in a huge gulp of air. After what seemed to me forever, I start calming down and feelings start returning and my hearing returns.

“Don’t” I tell both my buddies," whatever you do, don’t touch the light shield."

“Rob” asks Dave, “what the heck happened?”

I explained about the commandos and trying to reach through the light shield.

We slowly return to the cave entrance to see if any of this commotion was noticed by the commandos and see what they were up to. They were still observing the area around the Hogan, and communicating to someone over a radio. After talking for a few minutes the commandos get up and start walking down to where the Hogan once stood.

As we watched them walking down the ridge, two Blackhawks come zooming up the canyon and land, discharging more commandos and I swear George W. Bush!!! Two more unidentified civilians also got out, no idea who they are, but they stayed very close to Bush.

We watched as Bush chewed the hell out of all the commandos, they keep looking around, like where did those amateur UFO chasers go? How did they get out of here without being spotted? Little did they know that if I had my .50 caliber rifle, the G.W. Bush clone would be history.

Bush and the other civilians all mount up in one Blackhawk and took off back down the canyon, the rest of the team started kicking around searching for clues as to where we went. One team of four commandos hiked about half way back up the ridge towards us, stop, dig in, and set up a spotting scope. They also put on night vision goggles. The rest mount up and takeoff, leaving the area to us and the four man commando team.

Tony, Dave and I go back into the cave and start gathering up what is left of dinner that is scattered all over the place.

“Rob,’ asks Tony, “how long do you think these commandos will keep this area staked out?”

“No Idea, Tony.”

“What I think” speaks up Dave, “is when that beach ball UFO takes down the light shield, it’ll be safe to get out of here.”

“I hope your right Dave, we can’t stay here for forever.”

As night settled in, I took my laptop computer to the cave entrance to see if I could make a satellite hookup. The computer batteries died on boot up, so I started to close it up, when the beach ball UFO sent another tiny tentacle down. The tentacle opened the battery compartment on the lap top and touched the battery, then withdrew. I tried rebooting and viola, it booted with a full charge on the battery. The tentacle comes back down from the UFO and taps out on the keyboard the following message.

“The Battery will remain charged for the next 100 years. There is now a undetectable satellite linkup program installed on the hard drive, communications from and to this linkup will be undetectable. (P.S. You humans have along way too go in computing technology.)

Super cool, Bush clones don’t stand a chance as long as the Aliens stay on my side.

After this, we settled in for the night. We decide to wait until morning before making any plans. We need to see if the commando team is still here, if they are gone, we will try to escape to the north and Navajo Mountain.

Day break July, 7th 2005

Again, Tony is poking my ribs with a stick to wake me up. “Tony, I wish you would stop that. What’s wrong with a simple shake?”

“Dangerous to touch sleeping people” Tony replies, “good way to get a poke in the jaw.”

“Tony, trust me, I won’t hit you if you just give me a little shake.” He walks away laughing and shaking his head.

“Rob, the light shield is down”, this coming from Dave, “it’s still too dark to see anything but I think the commandos are gone to. We’ll have to wait for good light before we make any kind of move.”

I walk out to the cave entrance and sure as heck, the light shield is gone and so is the beach ball UFO.

OK, guys, lets get something to eat, then pack up and soon as we can see if the coast is clear we’ll get out of here.

And that’s what we did. There was no sign of commandos or helicopters, so we took off, Tony leading us north towards Navajo Mountain. We hadn’t gone 5 miles, when we came upon a big surprise. We were working our way up a very narrow slot canyon, rounding a bend, there was a crashed Blackhawk helicopter. It had fallen into the canyon and got wedged about ten foot above the canyon bottom. In the Blackhawk sat two pilots and two commandos. Holy Cow, now what?

We dismounted, walked over to the chopper and tried to figure out how to get up and checkout the guys inside, who were just sitting there staring at nothing. Tony gets a rope tied off on a rock above the chopper and we climb up. The only way to enter the chopper is to kick in the front wind screen. This is what we do and on entering we soon find out that there seems to be nothing wrong with any of the occupants.

“Rob, these guys are in the same condition as Rich, like they’ve been zapped or something”, Dave says, as he is checking the commandos out.

“Well, let’s get them outta there, they’ll die for sure if we don’t”

“Why you want ah to do that, Rob?” ask Tony,” These guys were trying to kill you yesterday. I’d leave them for the buzzards”

“Can’t do that Tony” I reply, “We’ll take them down to the start of the canyon were they can be found”

Tony starts bitching,” you’re going to be sorry saving these guys.”

While Tony and I lower the crew though the windscreen to the canyon floor, I have Dave find the Blackhawk’s IFF (Identify Friend or Foe) signal box. We pack the chopper crew and two commandos to the end of the canyon, turn on the IFF and split as fast as we can back up the canyon. “We need to find a place to hide Tony, anything near?”

“Ya, Rob, there’s another cave not far,” yells Tony.

“How long, Dave” I ask, “before the IFF makes contact with a satellite?”

“Almost instantaneous,” he answers, “maybe a half hour to establish communications to anyone out here. And Rob, I think all those commandos are Navy Seals, Bush has the best there is chasing us.”

Not much time, but maybe enough to reach a hideout. Navy Seals, Holly Cow.?

We continue up the canyon as fast as possible. Within 15 minutes we can hear helicopters flying over the canyon. We reach the cave just as a Blackhawk comes over the canyon rim and opens fire on us.

RIP, RIP,RIP,RIP, bullets flying all around us as we enter the cave, holly Sh** another big eyes and brown shorts moment. How no one was shot was a miracle. We move back in the cave and dismount. Tony walks over to me, “Rob, next time we leave them, OK”

“Ya, I think you might be right Tony. Is everyone OK, is Rich all right? Horses?”

KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM, the Blackhawks are shooting rockets at the entrance to the cave, but the canyon is too narrow for them to get a straight shot. I ran back to the cave opening and took a peak outside. I could see commandos rappelling down the canyon walls, not good.

Tony, came over grabbed me and led me back into the cave, “There’s a back way out of here, let’s go before those idiots get us”

The back of the cave opened out on open desert, nowhere to hide. Crap, now what? We couldn’t see but could hear the Blackhawks firing more rockets at the other end of the cave. Our only chance was a large thunderstorm blowing across the desert right at us. Its monsoon season in the southwest, producing a lot of these storms. And it looks as if this one might save us, as we can now hear the helicopters being forced to land.

Off we go, across a good 4 miles of open desert, using the storm for cover. We drop down into another small canyon and start up it as fast as possible, we don’t want to get caught in a flashflood. There is no surviving getting caught in one of these slot canyons in a flood. Busting out the head of the slot canyon, we enter open desert again.

OK, now what? The storm is dying down, which means the Blackhawks will be up soon. We are as good as dead if one of those choppers catches us out in the open. Looking out over the desert, I spotted what looked like a shack of some sort less that a mile from where we stood.

“Tony, you see that shack over there.” I ask. “Think it will provide some cover?”

“Better then nothing.” He replies.

“Let’s get over there before the rain stops and evaluate the situation”

We ride on over to the shack, throw Rich and all our gear down, put the horses in the corral and settle down. The storm is now blowing away to the northeast, leaving us in nice warm sunshine.

“Guys there’s no where to go, looks like we’re screwed, we can’t outrun helicopters that’s all there is to it.”

We make ourselves comfortable, sit down in front of the shack and wait for the blackhawks to show up. We wait and wait, wait some more. No Blackhawks!

“Rob, think the Aliens took care of the commandos.” asks Dave.

“Something is going on, been plenty of time for that cave to have been secured” I reply, “Bush’s commando team should have been here by now.”

No more then speak of the devil, when over the ridge from where the cave lay, comes three commandos. They stop at the top of the ridge and using binoculars look down on us. They slowly come down off the ridge and make their way across the desert and stop about ten feet from us.

“You Rob?” one guy ask as he steps closer.

“I’m Rob.”

“Did you pull those guys out of the wrecked Blackhawk?”

“Ya, we did”

“They were our buddies”

“So”

“We’re Navy Seals and we owe you one, Rob. Get your stock and all your stuff into the shack outta sight”

“OK”

“The stupid Blackhawk pilots blasted the cave entrance with rockets until it collapsed, everyone thinks you guys are either dead or buried alive.” He tells us.

The commandos watch as we put everything in the shack, then turn away and walk out into the desert a couple hundred yards. Here they stop, break out a radio and start communicating with someone.

Soon over the ridge flys a fully armed Blackhawk, we prepare to meet the other side, what ever it is. Tony starts an Indian death chant,, Dave says a little prayer and I look at the setting sun.

We are all thinking of what the Blackhawks did to the Hogan that was covering the underground house. As the chopper comes closer, I start kissing my ass goodbye.

But instead of blasting us to smithereens, the chopper circles and lands next to the commandos. We watch as the commandos point in our direction, kind of shrug their shoulders and climb aboard the Blackhawk. The Blackhawk lifts off, turns around and heads back over the ridge.

Tony, the worlds ugliest Indian walks over to me and says,” Rob, we should of left them trapped in that chopper, only prayer got us out of this jam.”



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