Patch

Sunday, July 31, 2005

 

Electronic voting?????

Electronic Voting?


http://www.eff.org/Activism/E-voting/
In New Orleans, for example, several Sequoia e-voting machines broke down on election day, prompting long lines, confused voters, and litigation. In Ohio, a Danaher electronic voting machine inexplicably added 4,000 votes for George Bush. In North Carolina, more than 4,500 votes were irretrievably lost due to a storage problem with the system provided by Unilect. And across the country, reports emerged of systems incorrectly recording their votes.
Approximately one-third of the votes cast in November were cast on electronic voting machines. Most of these machines use "black box" software that hasn't been publicly reviewed for security. Almost none provide voter-verifiable paper ballots to permit voters to ensure that their votes are being recorded as intended. Most election workers remain woefully under-trained regarding potential e-voting problems. Vendor technicians frequently have unsupervised access to voting equipment. Local election officials routinely deny attempts to examine e-voting audit data.

http://www.newstarget.com/002076.html
Bush trying to pull a fast one? It's not fooling bloggers over at DemocraticUnderground.com, who have put together some fascinating numbers showing that a mysterious "5% advantage" goes to Bush only in those states using electronic voting machines. Or, put another way, all the exit polls showed Kerry winning, and the exit polls asked people who they actually voted for. But strangely, the "official" count appears to have been boosted in favor of Bush.
How was it boosted? Read up at BlackBoxVoting.org to learn how electronic voting machines can easily be hacked. And since there's no paper trail -- are we insane? -- there's no record of how the votes were actually cast.

Why no paper trail? What would be so hard about a print out to deposit in a ballot box after the voter has confirmed his vote is correct?

WHY ARE WE AMERICANS ACCEPTING THIS ATROCITITY??????

Why don’t we demand to know that our vote is correct and accountable?

Why to we keep pissing our Democracy away?

There is plenty of evidence of paper ballot fraud, but at least we know about it, with electronic voting we will have no knowledge fraud or any way to confirm your votes. A friend of mine was telling me that in the last Presidential election, using punch card ballots, that he went trough 3 cards before he could punch in his vote. He checked for hanging chads after voting and found his card was not punched completely through. He complained about this and all he got was a new card and dirty looks, like he was at fault.

The last two Presidential elections are proof that your vote may or may not have counted.
And who owns the voting machines?

We here in the Ohio 2nd Congressional District will be voting for a new Congressional Representative on Aug. 2, we can only hope it will be a honest and fair election. I don’t know if I get to use the new electronic machines or not, not all polls have them yet. I already know that I don’t like them because of the lack of a paper trail. We’ll see.

Patch

Saturday, July 30, 2005

 

Tax and Spend?

A flurry of GOP victories or as Patch calls it, “A flurry of American defeats.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/30/politics/30pork.html?
Transportation Bill; The mammoth legislation was not available for public inspection until just before the votes. Most senators and representative boasted of the bacon they had managed to bring home. The special projects, called earmarks in Congressional terminology, amount to $24 billion, Almost all members of Congress got some project or another in their district. In what he called the "pork pecking order,"
"I wonder what Ronald Reagan would say," Mr. McCain said, noting that the late president was a critic of such Congressional largesse.



WASHINGTON, July 29 - The Senate voted unanimously on Friday to make permanent virtually all the main provisions of the law known as the USA Patriot Act

You know, our country is too open, too free," Arizona Senator John kyl



Senators on Friday endorsed the energy policy, 74 to 26. It includes $14.5 billion in industry and energy efficiency tax breaks

The bill gave the federal government new eminent-domain powers to clear paths for power lines -- a long-standing demand of the nation's electric utilities
The bill exempts oil and gas industries from some clean-water laws, streamlines permits for oil wells and power lines on public lands, and helps the hydropower industry appeal environmental restrictions
For example, it exempts oil and gas companies from Safe Drinking Water Act requirements when they inject fluids -- including some carcinogens -- into the earth at high pressure, a process known as hydraulic fracturing. And the bill will exempt petroleum well pads from storm-water regulations under the Clean Water Act.
This bill will allow America's most profitable companies to pollute our water supplies," said David Alberswerth of the Wilderness Society
It also includes an estimated $85 billion worth of subsidies and tax breaks for most forms of energy
Eco-friendly measures to tighten fuel-efficiency standards for automobiles and take a stand against global warming were deleted
The provision was just one example of how the energy bill, touted as a way to reduce dependence on foreign oil or moderate gasoline prices, has been turned into a piñata of perks for energy industries.

The bill's most far-reaching provision may be the repeal of the Public Utility Holding Company Act of 1935, which has blocked the owners of utilities from owning other companies and has prevented mergers in the electricity industry.
Another Enron in the making here.

CAFTA; Who needs jobs?

Damn them tax and spend liberals; OPPS, I mean damn them cut taxes and spend conservatives

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

 

Rob Escapes Again

The slot canyon that Rob and Dave used to escape the commandos.


















ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL

GI Major Dave Jones, ex USAF intel Officer



Rifle .50 Cal. Rifle



“In the morning boot up this computer and your plan of operations can be read, follow the plan exactly and you will accomplish the mission.”

In the morning, I awoke slowly, could not get my eyes open, my brain felt sluggish. I finally struggled over to our water supply and drank some water. I felt drugged and as I thought about it I realized I had been drugged. I went over to Dave and tried to wake him, he also appears to be drugged. Glancing around, I seen that both Tony and Rich were gone, also most of our gear and all the horses. What the heck is going on now?

Dave slowly comes to and asks “what’s going on Rob?”

“Don’t know Dave but it looks like we’ve been abandoned”

“What are you talking about?”

“Tony, Rich, and almost all of our stuff is gone”

“Gone?”

“Ya, gone.”

Dave staggers over and we start looking around, we see tracks where the stock and one set of boot tracks head up canyon. This has to be the walking Indian, as he is the only one of us that wears cowboy boots.

We continue looking around and soon discover another set of tracks going down canyon. This has to be Rich.

Dave and I stand there dumbfounded; trying to figure out what the hell is going on. One of those two, Rich or Tony, had to drug our coffee last night. That’s when it sunk in that the UFOs were also gone! Oh Man, I thought, Dave and I are in trouble.

“Dave lets see what we have and then make a plan on what to do.”

We didn’t have much, two backpacks, two sleeping bags and two water bladders.

Looking around again, I see my laptop laying under a rock, rolling the rock off the computer I see that it is smashed and broken.

Dave walks over, looks at the computer, “Our plan of action was on there, now what?”

I’m standing there staring at the broken computer, again thinking, “Now what”, when one of the beach ball UFOs zooms up and reaches out with about 10 of those spider web tentacles and takes the computer. We watch in amazement as the UFO stuffs the computer into itself

The UFO starts spinning at a rapid rate, then after a few minutes it pulls the computer back out and sets it on the ground, and takes off up and over the canyon rim.

I pick it up and examine it, looks brand new and boots right up. Wow, these UFOs are cool!

As I’m examining the computer, the UFO comes zooming back, scaring the devil out of Dave and me. The darn things don’t make a sound and if you don’t see one coming they seem to just appear.

This one moves over to where are packs are and starts disgorging stuff, the thing looks like its taking a crap. When it’s finished dropping stuff, it zooms away.

We walk over to see what it had left us and the first thing I see is my .50 caliber rifle, the one the UFO took when I tried to shoot it out in the black rock desert.

We go through the rest of the stuff, there is 2 of what looks like energy bars, some kind of handheld device of unknown use, about 50 rounds of ammo for the rifle, and 2 blankets made of some kind of unknown material.

We open the blankets up and discover that they are in fact light shields of about 10 x 12 ft. square and only weigh at best 2 oz... Dave wraps his self up in his and promptly disappears right in front of my eyes. WOW

Dave lowers the blanket down around his shoulders, and only his head is visible, he looks like the headless horseman without his horse. I try my blanket and get the same results. The really cool thing is that you can see right through the shield, it’s like being the invisible man. From the inside, the blanket looks like a pale yellow fabric, it’s like wearing a pair of those yellow tinted sunglasses.

Dave walks over and says, ”Rob, these are great, but have one problem, if you was to lay one light side down it would disappear and be almost impossible to find.”

“Your right Dave, we’ll have to be careful not to lose them, I have the feeling they are going to be invaluable to us and soon.”

Next we checkout the wafer bars, they have to be food of some sort. The bars are a little bit larger then a Heresy Bar and about 10 millimeters thick. Taking a bite out of one and what a surprise, it taste like fried eggs and as I’m chewing on it the energy bar grows back to its original size. “Dave take a bite, its like eating eggs.”

Dave tries a small bite, “mine taste like bacon.” He comments. And as he’s talking, his bar also grows back.

I take another bite of mine and now it taste like bacon. “What I think, Dave, is this bar will taste like whatever you want it to taste like.”

Dave looks at his energy bar and says, “Bar taste like a very good steak.” Wow your right Rob, try something,” he exclaims.

“OK, energy bar taste like a strawberry milkshake” I tell the bar. And it does, not only taste like strawberries, but also feels cold. “Your steak hot,” I ask Dave.

“Ya, it is,” he replies.

“Well looks we’re set for food, I wonder how long one bar will last?”

My attention moves to the rifle ammo as I continue munching on the energy bar, making it taste like bacon and eggs. The shells look the same but the bullets are different. “Dave, look at these shells, the bullets appear to have been modified.”

Dave takes one and examines it and agrees that the bullet is something we have never seen before. Dave picks up the rifle and loads a shell in the camber. “Fits alright, have to shoot it and see what happens. And Rob, the scope has been modified to, check it out,” and hands me the rifle.

Ejecting the shell, I look over the scope, “Your right, the scope has a laser and range finder built into it. I think the UFOs have done this and I also think they expect that we will have to use it.”

Dave loads the 5 shell clip and tells me to load the rifle as we may need to use it at any time. I stick the clip in and chamber a round, making sure the safety is on.

We finish eating, put everything in the packs and turn on the computer, it boots up with the following message on the screen.

Rob
To survive you must follow these directions as close as possible. The laws of our world forbids us to kill another life form, we have chosen you to kill for us! We can only save life, so if some life form needs killed we have to get another life form to do it. In order to save your world, the President Bush Robots need to be destroyed. Yes, the clones are robots, not clones!

“Dave you reading this?” I ask.

“Ya, Rob, I am.”

I continued to read, Not only do you have to destroy the robots but you have to destroy the person that built them, the Reverend William Robert James, or as he calls himself, “The Rev. Billy Bob Jimmy.”

As you have discovered the energy bars are food, the bars will last 20 earth years, no matter how much you eat.

The rifle bullets are not bullets but more like guided rockets, the rifle scope will guide the bullet to whatever you have the scope aimed at.

The hand held device is a modified GPS unit, it will guide you to wherever it is programmed to. The, as you call them, beach balls will lay down a magnetic trail that the device will detect, a map will appear on the screen, all you have to do is follow the map.

The light shields have a limited amount of energy, you must conserve this energy, use the shields as sparingly as possible. Keep them folded light side in and in the pouch that they came in.

More instructions will come, right now you have to get out of this canyon, and Bush’s commandoes are close. The GPS will lead you to Mexican Hat, Utah. There you are to contact a Mormon farmer named Jacob Hamblin. Now pack up and go!!!

We quickly pack up, turn on the GPS and following the pointer, head off down the canyon. The exit of the canyon amphitheater is a narrow slot, barely wide enough to walk through. Man would it be great to be hiking here under better circumstances, this canyon is absolutely beautiful.

Just as we start into the slot, we hear helicopters coming, they fly down into the amphitheater, Blackhawks, two commandoes in each, they immediately start searching the canyon and soon discover our campsite and the trails we made leading up and down the canyon.

Dave and I stop watching and take off down canyon, running as fast as we can. There’s no place to go but down, as the canyon walls at this point must be 300 ft. high. After running close to a mile the GPS unit starts to beep, stopping to look at it, the pointer is pointing back up the canyon. We put our faith in the GPS and work our way back up the canyon. A hundred yards later the pointer points at the left side of the canyon. Looking up, we can see a crack in the canyon wall, it is about 12 ft. above us. I lean against the wall and Dave claims up my back and peeks in the crack.

“Rob, it’s another slot, but it’s so narrow I don’t think we can get through it.” Dave tells me.

“Has to be the way,” I reply, “go head and climb in and help me up.”

Dave climbs in and using his belt as a rope helps me climb up and into the canyon. The canyon is so narrow we can’t wear our packs and have to step sideways to move up the canyon. We hear the commandos running down the canyon and can only hope they don’t look up and see this side canyon.

The first half mile of this canyon is so steep it’s as much climbing as hiking. After this first half mile the canyon levels out some, the canyon walls are only 15 to 20 ft. high now. As we keep sliding up the slot it appears as if the walls are coming down, soon we are able to look over the rim. The canyon is running across a ridge of slick rock, smooth as a babies butt.

The GPS map keeps us in the slot; we now have to bend over to keep from exposing ourselves to anyone watching the ridge. We assume there is a helicopter or commando around somewhere close.

After another half mile of this we are down on our hands and knees. The rock is killing our hands and knees, the rock looks smooth but has a very rough texture. At this point we can see where the canyon ends, right in the middle of the open ridge.

We are in more of a ditch then a canyon now. Laying there resting, we stick our heads up just enough to look around, and there off to right about 400 meters away is RICH!!

Dave looks at me and says, ”How in the hell did he get up here and what is he doing.”

Well he’s not doing anything, just standing there kind of looking around and still acting like a zombie.

“Rob, we gotta go get him.” Dave starts to get up, but I grap him and pull him back into the ditch.

“Helicopter coming” I tell Dave,”wait a minute.”

As we watch, one of those Kiowa choppers came flying down the ridge and must have seen Rich, as it pitched up into a hover. And then to our horror the Kiowa opens fire, it lets lose three 5 second volleys and blow poor Rich away. The rounds blow Rich across the slick rock like a tin can, we can hardly believe our eyes.

“Why those Sons of Bitches didn’t have do that” cries out Dave, “What the Hell?”

We watch the chopper fly over to Rich and land. One of the pilots gets out walks over and gives the body a kick and I lose it

I ease the .50 cal rifle up and take aim at the chopper, click off the safety, wait until the pilot gets back in, then squeeze off a round. POW----Ka-Boom, the chopper blows up into a thousand pieces, parts fly over a hundred meters and a huge fire ball erupts and burns for about 20 seconds.

I jump up, yelling, “Come on Dave, lets get across this ridge before reinforcements show up.” Grabbing our gear we take off across the ridge and drop into another ditch on the opposite side of the ridge. We move down this ridge until we come to a overhang that we can hide under.

Within 5 minutes, there are ten helicopter on the ridge, with about 40 commandos. We watch as they inspect the wreckage.

“Rob, I think they think the Kiowa crashed”

Dave no more then spoke when the commandos discovered Rich’s body. Now they are spreading out in a search grid and start moving our way.

“Rob, whatta you think, I think we better back out of here.”

“Ya, Dave start crawling down the ditch, they’ll find us here.” I reply.

The ditch only goes about a hundred meters and peters out on slick rock.

“Dave, break out the light shields and we’ll use them to get the rest of the way across this slick rock. Crawl toward that break in the canyon wall, the GPS, says that’s the way to go.”

I no more then told Dave this when 5 commandos came hiking out of the very break, blocking our way. Glancing around I see we are surrounded, if the light shields fail we are dead ducks.

Dave and I pull the shields over us and watch to see what the commandos are going to do. I wonder what the shields look like from the outside, I look to where Dave was and all I see is a rock, that settled that question, they look like rocks.

Now the commandos are all around us and we listen as they try to figure out what happened. One commando with sergeant stripes steps over right next to me, I feel the shield stiffen as the sergeant sits down right on the shield. I bet the shield not only looks like a rock, but feels like rock and the commando is using it for a seat.

I can’t resist, I carefully rummage around in my pack and find the safety pin I knew was in it. I open the pin and straighten it out, reach up and jab the sergeant commando right in the ass as hard as I can. The sergeant jumps up screaming “AW,AW,AW,” drops his weapon on the rocks causing it to go off, emptying a whole clip of ammo, spraying bullets everywhere. There are commandos jumping, diving and hopping everywhere, the sergeant is dropping his pants and grapping his ass still yelling, “ AW,AW,AW, son of a bitch.”

Damn sergeant, “What hells wrong with you?” an officer yells at him, as things start to settle down.

“Something bit the hell out of me,” he replies.

Three of the commandos are wounded, and start screaming for a medic. The officer gets on the radio and calls for help. One of the Blackhawks flies over picks up the wounded commandos and the sergeant who thinks he’s been bitten by a scorpion. The Blackhawk takes off with the wounded, leaving the rest of the commando wondering just what the heck is going on.

The commandos can’t believe they can’t find us, they had the slot canyon completely surrounded but we weren’t seen. They finally agree that we must still be in the canyon and they lay plans to search it again in the morning. A call comes over the radio and the officer orders everyone back to the choppers. As they walk off I hear one of the commandos mutter, “I’m sure glad it’s not me that has to tell the President that the UFO guys got away again, he’s going to have some ones head.”

Soon as the commandos get some distance from us, I lift one corner of my shield enough that Dave can see me. He lifts his shield and asks, “What you think, Rob”

“I think we should crawl over to the next canyon and put some distance between us and this commando team.”

This what we do, keeping the shields over us, we crawl over the slick rock and down into the next canyon. We fold the shields up, put our packs on and take off using the GPS unit as a guide. It’s almost dark but we don’t stop, we keep going this time up canyon, until the GPS unit starts to beep. It shows a one word message, ”satellite”. We quickly find an overhang in the canyon wall and set up a camp for the night.

Jacob Hamblin? The only Jacob Hamblin I know of was a Mormon pioneer who settled in southeast Utah in the 1850’s, and I never heard of the Rev. Billy Bob Jimmy, I wonder who he is?


Wednesday, July 20, 2005

 










http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/blog/2005/07/18/BL2005071800163_3.html

As GOP congressman turned talk-show host Joe Scarborough puts it, if someone in his old congressional office did what Rove unquestionably did, that someone would have been promptly fired, just as the president promised in this case.
"Scarborough, no longer obligated to toe the pathetic Republican Party line, says it's totally irrelevant if Joe Wilson is a preening partisan who misled investigators about the role his wife played in recommending his Niger trip. The frantic efforts of the GOP attack machine to change the subject to Wilson shows how scared Republicans are that the master of their universe will be held accountable for Rove's destructive carelessness."


Republicans thought she (Monica Lewinski) was worth impeaching the President of the United States, but say the Rove scandal is much to do about nothing. Why? Mr. Rove having conversations (Leaks to?) with news reporters about CIA employees, possibly outing an undercover agent and breaking a federal law, is not even worth an investigation. But having sex in the White House and lying about it is an impeachable offense.

Republicans keep claiming the moral high ground, but keep doing acts that falsify these claims.

President Bush says he welcomes an investigation of this controversy with about the same enthusiasm as I welcome a heart attack. After stonewalling for over 2 years, its time for this President to come clean on this issue. After 2 years even President Bush could have found out which member of his administration caused this controversy. We can only hope that special prosecutor Fitzgerald was the courage to find who, what and why.

Monday, July 18, 2005

 
PATRICK J. FITZGERALD began serving as the United States Attorney for the Northern District of Illinois on September 1, 2001. He was initially appointed on an interim basis by Attorney General John Ashcroft, succeeding former U.S. Attorney Scott R. Lassar. Subsequently, he was nominated by President George W. Bush. The United States Senate confirmed his nomination by unanimous consent on October 23, 2001, and President Bush signed his commission on October 29, 2001.

He has been named special counsel, heading up the investigation into who leaked the name of CIA agent Valerie Plame to the press.

I can’t imagine the pressure this guy is under, you can bet all the pressure the White House can produce is being used on him, and then add all the other sources of pressure. It is going to interesting to see how he handles it all. Talk about a test of ones honesty and integrity, here is a guy in position to maybe bring down a government. Remember Archibald Cox? He was the special prosecutor for the Watergate scandal and was fired by Nixon upon Cox's insistence on obtaining secret White House tapes, which lead to the Saturday Night Massacre . (Remember Robert Bork?) Cox had this to say "Whether ours shall be a government of laws and not of men is now for Congress and ultimately the American people". And here are again wondering the same thing, will the people of the United States demand the truth or accept the misinformation, lies, deceits and coverups of the present Administration?

Stay Tuned.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

 

Mega-Churches














The Lakewood Church, led by televangelist and best-selling author, Joel Osteen, (with wife)shown here, held the grand opening of their new building, formerly the Compaq Center

In 2001, the church secured a 30-year lease to what was then the Compaq Center from the city for $11.8 million, paid up front, with an option to renew for another 30 years for $22.6 million.

The church took possession in December 2003 and began $95 million in renovations.
Osteen said if Jesus was alive today He would fly in a private jet, on explaining the money being spent on his church.
((I think if Jesus visted Cincinnati and called me for a lift, he would call from the Grayhound Station not the Airport. I'm a long way from being a bibilcal scholar but from what I know I would say Jesus would be against this mega-church stuff. Something about money corrupts. This is a World of Life Church which is a subject in itself.)

To begin with the church was originally started by John Osteen, who was originally a Southern Baptist pastor but after receiving the “baptism” in/with the Holy Spirit he became enamored with the charismatic renewal movement in its early stage and eventually became associated with the Word of Faith (WOF)

Some 30,000 members, a long way from the largest, there is a church in L.A. with 80,000 members.


Larry King CNN http://www.myfortress.org/JoelOsteen.html


The term megachurch is the name given to a cluster of very large, mostly Protestant congregations, that share several distinctive characteristics. These churches generally have:
Massive numbers of persons in attendance
A charismatic, authoritative senior minister
A very active 7 day a week congregational community
A multitude of social and outreach ministries,
and a complex differentiated organizational structure


ALBUQUERQUE — A fountain of flames spewed from the sanctuary at Wooden Oaks Community Church when the mega-church apparently grew one person too large and spontaneously combusted. "One minute we were singing, and the next there was a huge explosion," said one witness. Miraculously, nobody in the 15,000-seat sanctuary was hurt. Nurseries and child care rooms were evacuated immediately, and people ran for cover as the building was engulfed by fire. Investigators have ruled out terrorism or arson, and say it's "just one of those things that happens when you get a lot of people together." "I have never heard of rapid church growth resulting in spontaneous combustion, but we're talking about a church of 15,000 people," says fire marshal Bill Wilkins. "When you push the limit that far, you're inviting trouble." The church has recently tangled with the city government over plans to build a 2,000-acre theme park/shopping mall/air strip/professional baseball stadium/skating rink/water-ski lake and NASCAR race track just outside city limits. Those plans are on "indefinite hold," says pastor John Allen, 31, who started the church one year ago. •

Go here to read some commits on mega-churches
http://www.wesleyblog.com/2005/03/abc_news_report.html

America’s largest church
http://www.harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist.html

Me, I think it's Money, Money, and more Money.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

 

UFO Staging Area








Black Hawk




OH-58 Kiowa Warrior

These are the bad ass Helicopters that are chasing Rob and his friends.

ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL




Navajo Mountain


….,” Rob, we should of left them trapped in that chopper, only prayer got us out of this jam.”



We were now standing outside the shack as all activity had seemed to stop. With the sun setting in the west and everything still wet from the rain, it was a beautiful setting. The slick rock had a shine to it from the sun reflecting off the wet rock and the few Pinion trees were as green as green could be and smelled wonderful.

If the special operations team thinks we’re dead, we might have a chance to escape from here and get up to Navajo Mountain. Once there, who knows?

“Guys,” I tell my friends, “soon as its dark, get the horses back in the corral and lets get set up to leave here at first light.”

“Where we going, Rob?”

“Navajo Mountain.”

Dark came like it usually does in the desert, very fast. Tony takes the horses out to the corral; Dave prepares our gear for an early start. And I start thinking of our next move.

I doubt that the special ops team is out of our hair, we may have got them off our trail for now but sooner or later they will realize that we are alive and well.

Tony thinks his Indian death chant saved us from the commandos, I don’t think so. I also don’t think the special ops team is made up of Navy Seals. Navy Seals would have found our escape route before we did. No, these guys, I think, are civilians made up as Navy Seals. And why they let us get away is another mystery.

Dave bugs me, why would he pass UFO information to me knowing it was against Air Force regulations and would cost him his commission?

Tony is another problem, this is a vast territory we’re traveling through, yet he seems to know every step of the way. No second guesses, go here, and go there, there’s a cave right ahead of us. No one can possibly know how to travel through this land as well as Tony is doing, not even a Indian.

And Rich, good question, right now he’s nothing but a zombie. But he also has an obvious connection to the Extra Terrestrials.

Right now the only thing I trust is that big mule that I’m riding. The best horses (Mule) I ever rode. Steady as a rock, surefooted as a goat.

Still it's hard to believe these guys might not be on my side. Dodging commando teams in Blackhawk helicopters is not something one does for fun.

Well, it’s been a long day, time to eat and get some sleep and rest. We are going to most likely need both as getting to Navajo Mountain undetected is highly unlikely.


Daybreak, and something is touching my shoulder, quickly as I could, I spin around and hit whatever it was , it was Tony, I had slugged him right on the jaw and knocked him on his ass.

“The man said , trust me,” mumbles Tony, ”I won’t hit you. That’s ok Rob, my fault, I knew better”

“Sorry Tony, I was dreaming that G.W. Bush clones were after me.”

Tony still mumbling, ”never trust a white man,” gets up and walks out to the corral.

Dave comes over, laughing his butt off and hands me a cup of coffee. “That is the funniest thing that’s happen to us so far,” he comments.

Tony comes back in and we all get something to eat, drink the rest of the coffee, pack everything up and load the horses. The last thing is to get Rich up on one the horses and tie him on so he won’t fall off. Off we go, to Navajo Mountain.

Navajo Mountain is northwest of and about 100 air miles from where we start. Tony has no idea how far it is by horseback. Off we go still trusting to day time travel as we all three believe the commandos own the night. And where is the Bush special ops team? There has been no sign of it, but we’ll take whatever advantage they give us.

We now have to cross US route 163 north of Kayenta. We follow a wash that the highway bridges, the plan is to keep more or less hid in the wash until we get on the other side of the road.

The plan doesn’t work to well, as standing on the bridge are two Navajos. Soon as they see us, they wave a come ahead wave and with little choice we go a head.

“Tony” one of the Navajo says, “ you are in deep sh** and we are here to save your ass, along with your friends.”

“How you going to do that?” inquires Tony.

“We have an 18 wheeler stock trailer, your outfit is going to get in it and we are going to truck you as close as we can to Navajo Mountain.” They reply.

“Why”

“Because we want you to get these UFO guys off the reservation as soon as you can”

“Why”

“Do any of you know how much chaos has been created by the commando team that’s searching for you all? The whole nation is in an uproar, with this team blowing things up, searching every house, car and person in the nation. Helicopters flying over everything.’

“The last we heard, they thought we were dead”

“Not anymore, this morning, they gained entrance to the cave and found how you guys escaped. They have a massive search operation going looking for you, so far they think you are still hiding in that slot canyon, they can’t believe you got out of there without being discovered.”

“Why do think we would be safe riding in a stock trailer?” I ask

“Because there is going to be a million helicopters looking for you as soon as that ops team realizes you’re not in that canyon. Our truck has already been searched twice, its full of sheep and horses. We have some bales of straw in it that you can use to make a place to hide, doing that and with all the stock, maybe they won’t see you. The longer you stay out in the open desert the better chance the ops team will detect you.”

Makes sense, so we have the Navajos bring up the stock trailer and we clamber aboard. Inside the trailer, we make a hollow square out of the straw bales to hide in. Off we go heading towards Navajo Mountain.

We hadn’t gone two miles, when a Blackhawk flew up parallel to the truck and gives it a hard look over, then peels off, apparently satisfied the truck held only stock. We watch the chopper go back to the wash we had been traveling in and start flying along searching it.

“Good move, Rob,” said Dave, “if we had stayed in that wash, it would have been over for us.”

“Well we aren’t out of here yet.” I reply, “Navajo Mountain is still a hundred miles away.”

About three hours later, the truck is traveling down a very primitive road, that’s paralleling the another deep wash. The road turns to the right away from the wash and starts up a steep ridge and just a few yards from the top of the hill, the truck motor coughs and dies. The Navajo’s that were driving jump out of the truck cab and start throwing rocks under the wheels, as the truck slowly starts to coast backwards. The rocks miss the wheels as the Indians are to drunk to see straight and the truck rolls right pass the rocks.

I yell, ”get out, bailout.” By the time we manage to crawl out from under the bales of straw the truck is going so fast that we can see that we won’t get out before the truck leaves the road and flies off into the wash. The wash is a good 50 ft. deep; it’s going to be one heck of a wreck when we hit the bottom of it.

As we watch the edge of the wash come closer, the beach ball UFO zooms down from somewhere and throws a vail of light down right at the point the truck will go off the edge of the wash. We hit this vail of light but don’t go through it, instead the vial stretches like a huge rubber band, bringing the truck to a gentle halt with the back wheels hanging over the wash. The vial doesn’t snapback like we expected but just eases off slowly bringing the truck to a halt in the middle of the road. The UFO turns off the light and zooms a way leaving us with big eyes and brown shorts again.

The Navajos who had chased the truck all the way down the hill, quickly chocked the wheels and opened the tailgate and peeped in, with a look of astonishment on their faces.

“How did truck stop?” They ask, and fall over laughing hysterically, “truck has no brakes!!”

Tony starts yelling, ”I’m gonna kill those drunken sons of bi****s”

“Hold on Tony” I tell him, “let’s get the horses off the trailer and lets get outta here before that chopper comes back”

Shortly we are mounted up and getting away from that truck. We make it down into the wash and head up it into another small canyon that leads us to some of the roughest country we’ve been in so far.

Rainbow Bridge and Lake Powell is off to our left and Navajo Mountain is on our right as we head in a northeasterly direction to where Tony says the UFO staging area lays. He also tells us this is the remotest and driest part of the reservation. Lake Powell is to our north but almost impossible to reach from here. This country is mostly slick rock cut up by hundreds of canyons, most of which are impossible to navigate. The only luck we have is that’s it’s been raining leaving lots of water in pot holes, without water we will have to surrender or die.

For the next two days, Tony leads us across this country over trails that looked impossible. Many of times a slip would have produced a fall of 2 or 3 hundred feet into a canyon. We stay out of the high open country as much as possible, helicopters are up in force and there is no doubt that we are the targets being searched for.

Late Sunday afternoon, we round a bend in the canyon and look out on a huge amphitheater, in which sets seven UFOs, two huge ones, two smaller ones and three beach ball sized ones. The two larger ones are football shaped, pointed on both ends but flat in the middle along the top and bottom, the two smaller ones are shaped like nuclear submarines without conning towers, and the three beach balls. They are all hovering or floating about 20 meters off the canyon floor and as we ride into view, they all turn as one facing us. The three beach balls race out about half way between the two parties, stop and slowly spin at maybe three revolutions a minute.

Over this amphitheater is a vail of light that is no doubt camouflage. We continue to ride into the amphitheater until the beach balls start giving off signs that we are getting too close. Over on the left side of the amphitheater are three small cottonwood trees and a small spring.

“Guys, we’ll camp under the trees and wait to see what if anything these UFOs want of us.”

As we are setting up camp, two OH-58 Kiowa Warrior helicopters fly over the canyon, this is the first time we have this seen model helicopter and it’s not a particularly good sight.

(The OH-58D Kiowa Warrior is a two-seat, single-engine, four-bladed single main rotor light helicopter with a low light television, thermal imaging system, and laser range finder/designator incorporated into an above the rotor Mast Mounted Sight (MMS). It is designed to operate autonomously at standoff ranges providing armed reconnaissance, command and control, and target acquisition and designation under day/night, hot, and adverse weather conditions.)

These are bad assed choppers, but the UFO camouflage works to perfection and they fly on none the wiser to our location.

We finish setting up camp, eat, then settle down to wait on the UFOs to do whatever the UFOs are going to do. One of the beach ball UFOs zips over, shoots out a tentacle and points at my laptop computer. I power the thing up and the tentacle taps out this message;

“ In the morning boot up this computer and your plan of operations can be read, follow the plan exactly and you will accomplish the mission.”

???????????

IndianTony Begaye, The Worlds Ugliest Indian

KingRich, Suspected Extra Terrestrail

GI Major Dave Jones,Ex USAF Intel Officer




Navajo Mountain








Posted By Patches






Monday, July 11, 2005

 

Trees



Poem: From "Trees" by W. S. Merwin, from The Compass Flower.

Trees I am looking at trees
they may be one of the things I will miss
most from the earth
though many of the ones I have seen
already I cannot remember
and though I seldom embrace the ones I see
and have never been able to speak
with one
I listen to them tenderly
their names have never touched them
they have stood round my sleep
and when it was forbidden to climb them
they have carried me in their branches




Posted By Patches

Friday, July 08, 2005

 

Storm



Storm Building Over Cincinnati, Ohio
Posted By Patches
 
Early Morning Web

Posted By Patches

Thursday, July 07, 2005

 

Escape Canyon



This is the slot canyon that President Bush’s Special Operations Commando Team tried to trap Rob and his friends.


Rob's FriendsHigh Five

IndianTony Begaye, The Worlds Ugliest Indian.

GI Major Dave Jones, Ex Air Force Intel Officer.

KingAnd Rich, Supected Extra-Terrestrail


ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL


UFO Cave near Kayenta, Navajo Nation.


…. “How in the hell am I and my little gang going to save the world from George W. Bush clones?”

I was sitting just inside the entrance of the cave that the beach ball UFO made, running this question around and around my brain. Just how does one destroy clones? Let alone clones of a President of the United States. Dave and Tony are in the back of the cave preparing something to eat. Rich is still sitting and staring off into space, making noises like a computer modem. President Bush’s commando team has been gone for about three hours now, everything appears quiet.

It has been one hell of a 4th of July, Helicopter demonstration fly-by, a commando raid, and a visit from the President of the United States. And all before noon! I’ve been sitting here ever since the commando team left, trying to come up with a plan of action. The UFO is still casting a pale yellow light vial over the cave entrance. Dave, Tony, and I all agreed that is not good news, we are assuming that as long as the UFO is doing this, danger is near at hand.

And it was! I was just getting up to go back and speak to Dave and Tony, when four commandos came crawling across the cave entrance. Oh man, now what? These commandos are right on the other side of the light vial, no more then 6 in. from me. The commandos setup a spotting scope and started observing the area where the Navajo Hogan stood.

So far none of us have been brave enough to touch the light vial, we assumed that wouldn’t be good for our health. But now, with one of Bush’s commandos less then an arms reach from me, I couldn’t resist the urge to reach through the light and goose one of them.

Big mistake, huge mistake! As I reached out, the beach ball UFO shot a tentacle like string down touching the back of my hand. KA-POW, ten thousand volts of electricity went shooting through me, throwing me ass over tea cup back into the cave, knocking Dave and Tony over and slamming me up against one of the horses. This spooks the hell out of the horses and they begin stomping and kicking, there was camping gear of all sorts flying around the cave, sleeping bags, cook sets, tents, packs, flying everywhere.

Tony jumped up and got the horses under control and Dave ran to me to see what happened. I’m stunned and completely numb, can’t feel a thing, I can see but can’t hear or breathe. I can read Dave’s lips saying to Tony “CPR.” I glance at Tony, thinking, the world’s ugliest Indian is going to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation on me. This thought jumps starts my heart to about 10 thousand beats a minute and enables me to suck in a huge gulp of air. After what seemed to me forever, I start calming down and feelings start returning and my hearing returns.

“Don’t” I tell both my buddies," whatever you do, don’t touch the light shield."

“Rob” asks Dave, “what the heck happened?”

I explained about the commandos and trying to reach through the light shield.

We slowly return to the cave entrance to see if any of this commotion was noticed by the commandos and see what they were up to. They were still observing the area around the Hogan, and communicating to someone over a radio. After talking for a few minutes the commandos get up and start walking down to where the Hogan once stood.

As we watched them walking down the ridge, two Blackhawks come zooming up the canyon and land, discharging more commandos and I swear George W. Bush!!! Two more unidentified civilians also got out, no idea who they are, but they stayed very close to Bush.

We watched as Bush chewed the hell out of all the commandos, they keep looking around, like where did those amateur UFO chasers go? How did they get out of here without being spotted? Little did they know that if I had my .50 caliber rifle, the G.W. Bush clone would be history.

Bush and the other civilians all mount up in one Blackhawk and took off back down the canyon, the rest of the team started kicking around searching for clues as to where we went. One team of four commandos hiked about half way back up the ridge towards us, stop, dig in, and set up a spotting scope. They also put on night vision goggles. The rest mount up and takeoff, leaving the area to us and the four man commando team.

Tony, Dave and I go back into the cave and start gathering up what is left of dinner that is scattered all over the place.

“Rob,’ asks Tony, “how long do you think these commandos will keep this area staked out?”

“No Idea, Tony.”

“What I think” speaks up Dave, “is when that beach ball UFO takes down the light shield, it’ll be safe to get out of here.”

“I hope your right Dave, we can’t stay here for forever.”

As night settled in, I took my laptop computer to the cave entrance to see if I could make a satellite hookup. The computer batteries died on boot up, so I started to close it up, when the beach ball UFO sent another tiny tentacle down. The tentacle opened the battery compartment on the lap top and touched the battery, then withdrew. I tried rebooting and viola, it booted with a full charge on the battery. The tentacle comes back down from the UFO and taps out on the keyboard the following message.

“The Battery will remain charged for the next 100 years. There is now a undetectable satellite linkup program installed on the hard drive, communications from and to this linkup will be undetectable. (P.S. You humans have along way too go in computing technology.)

Super cool, Bush clones don’t stand a chance as long as the Aliens stay on my side.

After this, we settled in for the night. We decide to wait until morning before making any plans. We need to see if the commando team is still here, if they are gone, we will try to escape to the north and Navajo Mountain.

Day break July, 7th 2005

Again, Tony is poking my ribs with a stick to wake me up. “Tony, I wish you would stop that. What’s wrong with a simple shake?”

“Dangerous to touch sleeping people” Tony replies, “good way to get a poke in the jaw.”

“Tony, trust me, I won’t hit you if you just give me a little shake.” He walks away laughing and shaking his head.

“Rob, the light shield is down”, this coming from Dave, “it’s still too dark to see anything but I think the commandos are gone to. We’ll have to wait for good light before we make any kind of move.”

I walk out to the cave entrance and sure as heck, the light shield is gone and so is the beach ball UFO.

OK, guys, lets get something to eat, then pack up and soon as we can see if the coast is clear we’ll get out of here.

And that’s what we did. There was no sign of commandos or helicopters, so we took off, Tony leading us north towards Navajo Mountain. We hadn’t gone 5 miles, when we came upon a big surprise. We were working our way up a very narrow slot canyon, rounding a bend, there was a crashed Blackhawk helicopter. It had fallen into the canyon and got wedged about ten foot above the canyon bottom. In the Blackhawk sat two pilots and two commandos. Holy Cow, now what?

We dismounted, walked over to the chopper and tried to figure out how to get up and checkout the guys inside, who were just sitting there staring at nothing. Tony gets a rope tied off on a rock above the chopper and we climb up. The only way to enter the chopper is to kick in the front wind screen. This is what we do and on entering we soon find out that there seems to be nothing wrong with any of the occupants.

“Rob, these guys are in the same condition as Rich, like they’ve been zapped or something”, Dave says, as he is checking the commandos out.

“Well, let’s get them outta there, they’ll die for sure if we don’t”

“Why you want ah to do that, Rob?” ask Tony,” These guys were trying to kill you yesterday. I’d leave them for the buzzards”

“Can’t do that Tony” I reply, “We’ll take them down to the start of the canyon were they can be found”

Tony starts bitching,” you’re going to be sorry saving these guys.”

While Tony and I lower the crew though the windscreen to the canyon floor, I have Dave find the Blackhawk’s IFF (Identify Friend or Foe) signal box. We pack the chopper crew and two commandos to the end of the canyon, turn on the IFF and split as fast as we can back up the canyon. “We need to find a place to hide Tony, anything near?”

“Ya, Rob, there’s another cave not far,” yells Tony.

“How long, Dave” I ask, “before the IFF makes contact with a satellite?”

“Almost instantaneous,” he answers, “maybe a half hour to establish communications to anyone out here. And Rob, I think all those commandos are Navy Seals, Bush has the best there is chasing us.”

Not much time, but maybe enough to reach a hideout. Navy Seals, Holly Cow.?

We continue up the canyon as fast as possible. Within 15 minutes we can hear helicopters flying over the canyon. We reach the cave just as a Blackhawk comes over the canyon rim and opens fire on us.

RIP, RIP,RIP,RIP, bullets flying all around us as we enter the cave, holly Sh** another big eyes and brown shorts moment. How no one was shot was a miracle. We move back in the cave and dismount. Tony walks over to me, “Rob, next time we leave them, OK”

“Ya, I think you might be right Tony. Is everyone OK, is Rich all right? Horses?”

KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM, the Blackhawks are shooting rockets at the entrance to the cave, but the canyon is too narrow for them to get a straight shot. I ran back to the cave opening and took a peak outside. I could see commandos rappelling down the canyon walls, not good.

Tony, came over grabbed me and led me back into the cave, “There’s a back way out of here, let’s go before those idiots get us”

The back of the cave opened out on open desert, nowhere to hide. Crap, now what? We couldn’t see but could hear the Blackhawks firing more rockets at the other end of the cave. Our only chance was a large thunderstorm blowing across the desert right at us. Its monsoon season in the southwest, producing a lot of these storms. And it looks as if this one might save us, as we can now hear the helicopters being forced to land.

Off we go, across a good 4 miles of open desert, using the storm for cover. We drop down into another small canyon and start up it as fast as possible, we don’t want to get caught in a flashflood. There is no surviving getting caught in one of these slot canyons in a flood. Busting out the head of the slot canyon, we enter open desert again.

OK, now what? The storm is dying down, which means the Blackhawks will be up soon. We are as good as dead if one of those choppers catches us out in the open. Looking out over the desert, I spotted what looked like a shack of some sort less that a mile from where we stood.

“Tony, you see that shack over there.” I ask. “Think it will provide some cover?”

“Better then nothing.” He replies.

“Let’s get over there before the rain stops and evaluate the situation”

We ride on over to the shack, throw Rich and all our gear down, put the horses in the corral and settle down. The storm is now blowing away to the northeast, leaving us in nice warm sunshine.

“Guys there’s no where to go, looks like we’re screwed, we can’t outrun helicopters that’s all there is to it.”

We make ourselves comfortable, sit down in front of the shack and wait for the blackhawks to show up. We wait and wait, wait some more. No Blackhawks!

“Rob, think the Aliens took care of the commandos.” asks Dave.

“Something is going on, been plenty of time for that cave to have been secured” I reply, “Bush’s commando team should have been here by now.”

No more then speak of the devil, when over the ridge from where the cave lay, comes three commandos. They stop at the top of the ridge and using binoculars look down on us. They slowly come down off the ridge and make their way across the desert and stop about ten feet from us.

“You Rob?” one guy ask as he steps closer.

“I’m Rob.”

“Did you pull those guys out of the wrecked Blackhawk?”

“Ya, we did”

“They were our buddies”

“So”

“We’re Navy Seals and we owe you one, Rob. Get your stock and all your stuff into the shack outta sight”

“OK”

“The stupid Blackhawk pilots blasted the cave entrance with rockets until it collapsed, everyone thinks you guys are either dead or buried alive.” He tells us.

The commandos watch as we put everything in the shack, then turn away and walk out into the desert a couple hundred yards. Here they stop, break out a radio and start communicating with someone.

Soon over the ridge flys a fully armed Blackhawk, we prepare to meet the other side, what ever it is. Tony starts an Indian death chant,, Dave says a little prayer and I look at the setting sun.

We are all thinking of what the Blackhawks did to the Hogan that was covering the underground house. As the chopper comes closer, I start kissing my ass goodbye.

But instead of blasting us to smithereens, the chopper circles and lands next to the commandos. We watch as the commandos point in our direction, kind of shrug their shoulders and climb aboard the Blackhawk. The Blackhawk lifts off, turns around and heads back over the ridge.

Tony, the worlds ugliest Indian walks over to me and says,” Rob, we should of left them trapped in that chopper, only prayer got us out of this jam.”



Posted By Patches






 

Photo


OBannon Creek
Loveland, Ohio
Posted By Patches
 

Tree in Fog


Camp Dennison, Ohio
July 6, 2005
0700 hrs.




Posted By Patches

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

 

Cincinnati Morning

Camp Dennison, Hamilton County, Ohio


July 3rd 2005

Camp Dennison was founded in 1796 by Christian Waldschmidt along with a group of German immigrants and was called Germany. It was renamed Camp Dennison during the Civil War when it became a military training camp. It later became a hospital camp and was named after Ohio Governor William Dennison. The Waldschmidt House Historical Museum and the Camp Dennison, Ohio Civil War Museum are both in Camp Dennison. Camp Dennison is just five minutes from Milford or Terrace Park, and just 10 minutes East of both Montgomery and Madeira.
Posted By Patches

Monday, July 04, 2005

 

Rob is Hiding Out Someplace in Here.






ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL

.Tony Begaye speaks up, "let’s go, we’re wasting daylight. We need to get out in the desert where Bush’s guys can’t find us."

So we mounted up, Rob on his mule, Dave the ex A.F. intelligent officer, Rich who is most likely an ET or is under alien control, and the worlds ugliest Indian, Tony Begaye, an Indian that doesn’t ride horses. What a group! George Hayduke eat your heart out.

Off we head in a westerly direction across the slick rock. By noon the air temperature is well over 100 degrees and everyone but Tony is suffering.

Tony, I speak up, "we need a break."

" Another 2 miles" Tony replies, "and we’ll drop into a canyon where there is shade and water if we’re lucky."

"We need to hurry up", pipes up Rich, "I hear helicopters."

Galloping across the slick rock at a kidney busting, if not a ass busting pace, we drop down into a canyon, pull up under an overhanging piece of rock wall just as two Blackhawk helicopters pass, one on each side of the canyon.

Both Blackhawks are armed too the teeth. "Holly Cow, what the heck is going on? Dave, what have we done that the President has secret agents after us?"

"Don’t know, Rob," I had no Intel on anything like this.

We waited for an hour to make sure the Blackhawks didn’t return and then made off down the canyon. What beautiful country, the canyon we’re in is a typical slick rock canyon, narrow, twisting and dry as a bone. We rode down this canyon for two or three hours to a spot that had shade and a small spring with enough water to refill our canteens.

I started to tell Tony that it was to hot for us to travel and that we should wait till evening to move on. He disagreed, "we must travel during the heat of the day", he explained, "no one will expect us to do that." He explained that infrared devices work well after the desert starts to cool down, but are of little use when the desert is hotter then anything else. And they will be using infrared as well as night vision goggles.

We made it to Many Farms without any more problems. We rested here for a day, Tony got us re supplied and then headed out for Kayenta. We had to cross part of Canyon DeChelly National Monument, on the way to Many Farms, what a sight to see.

We had a big problem getting across highway 160 northeast of Kayenta. We had to make our way down one canyon, cross the highway, and then make our way back up another canyon on the other side of the road. As we were riding down the canyon toward the highway a huge thunderstorm was brewing up canyon from us. Tony said we had to get out of this canyon fast as most likely it was going to flash flood.

As we came out of the canyon and approached the road here comes two Chevy Blazer SUV’s, Bush’s agents again. As soon as they spotted us they pulled off the road into the wash, jumped out and pointed assault rifles at us.

As we waited to see what these guys were going to do, down off the opposite canyon wall comes a UFO, a small one, about the size of a large motor home. Tony said, "watch this, it should be fun." The agents with the guns were watching us and we were watching the UFO sneaking up behind them. All of a sudden the secret agents fired a dozen rounds over our head and started yelling freeze, freeze.

So we freeze, I mean what else can you do with four guys firing assault rifles at you? By now the UFO is only 100 meters behind the agents and slowly moving closer. One of the guys turned around and when he saw the UFO we could see his eyes fly wide open and his jaw drop. Before he could do or say anything the UFO lit up all four guys and both cars up with a pale blue light. The UFO keep the light on them about 4 seconds, then turned around and took off up over the canyon wall.

We watched to see what was going to happen and after a few minutes we realized the guys were froze or something. After a few minutes the agents started to move around, they put their guns in the cars, jumped in and tried backing out of the wash. Of course they were stuck in the sandy bottom of the wash. We watched as they jumped back out and tried getting the cars unstuck. As we’re watching we could hear a roaring sound coming from up the canyon," flash flood," yells Tony, "let’s get across the wash before it gets here." Off goes Tony, running like a jack rabbit, with us hot on his heels.

As soon as we get over the wash and across the highway we stop and turn to see what Bush’s dummies are doing. They are just standing around talking about how to get out of the wash. By now the roar of the flood is filling the whole canyon, but they pay no attention to either the flood or us.

We watch as the flash flood hit those guys and washed them away, gone in a second, all four guys and both Blazers washed down the canyon. Wow, Dave, Rich and I are in shock but Tony is laughing. "I told you it would be funny", Tony tells us, "that UFO messed up their brains with that blue light", he adds. "Hay, Tony, this isn’t funny", I yell at him, "we are getting in deep sh** here". That’s two helicopters, two Blazers and who knows how many people those UFO’s have wiped out. "Can’t blame any of that on us", said Rich, "We’re not directing the UFOs".

"We got to get out of here," says Tony, "we have to reach the next hideout before dark". So off we go again, up out of the canyon and back across more slick rock, which is now slick from all the rain. Plus we are starting to freeze our butts off from being wet from the storm. By now the storm is right on top of us, lightening, rain, and hail all pouring down on us.

We reached the next hideout just before dark, the storm was over and sun came out quickly drying us out and warming us. The hideout was a small cave overlooking the canyon that flash flooded. As we got settled in, we could see Blackhawk helicopters flying up and down the canyon.

"What do you think", I ask Dave?

"Most likely they are searching for the guys in the got washed away," he answers.

"Think we’re in big trouble"? I ask.

"Yes."

In the morning I wake up with the ugliest Indian in the world poking me with a stick. "Tony, do you have a better way to wake someone up?"
"No. This best way", he answers laughing. "And we got another problem", he adds.
"What?"
"Rich is missing, no sign of him."
"What do you mean missing, where could he go?"
"Don’t know Rob, but he’s gone and gone with no sign of leaving. Maybe a UFO got him."

Dave wakes and asks, "what’s going on?"

"Rich is missing", I tell him,"gone with no trace."

We look around some more to see if we can find out what happened, Dave came running over, "look I found the aluminum foil that Rich keeps around his head." We all walk over to where Dave found the foil, we looked around but there was nothing to see. Even Tony the Indian could find no sign.

We waited around most of the day to see if Rich would show up. By late afternoon it became clear Rich was gone. We saddled up the horses, packed up our camp, and took off.

After almost a week of dodging Blackhawks and Chevy Blazers full of secret agents, we finally made to near Kayenta, Arizona. Tony’s friend has a camp about ten miles from town, it’s a sheep camp. Well it looks like a sheep camp, buts it’s much more. What looks like a Navajo Hogan, is camouflage for an underground house. I’m talking about an eight room house, kitchen, bedrooms, living room, the works. All powered by solar panels. The guy that owns this place has a gazillion solar panels camouflaged as rocks, scattered all around the Hogan. The place has satellite TV, radio, phone, internet connection, the works. (Cold Beer too, Ya.)

The plan is hide out here for a day or so, then make our way toward Navajo Mountain. I’m going to use the time here to try and sort things out in my mind as to what is going on.

Most important is why are the UFOs helping me and where are they leading me? And, why does President Bush have a team of secret agents chasing us.

What happened to Rich?

And, Tony Begaye, seems to know a heck of a lot for an Indian living in the Navajo Nation.

My buddy, Dave, who was an U.S.A.F. intelligent specialist, doesn’t seem to know anything.

Anyhow, looks like we’ll be spending the 4th hiding in an underground house near Kayenta, Arizona.



Shortly after day break on the 4th of July, I was awakened by Dave yelling, "Rob come here quick, you’re not going to believe this."

Now what? I stumble outside where Dave and Tony are looking down on Rich who is sitting on the ground leaning against the corral fence. I run over to Rich," you Ok?" No answer, he’s just staring off into space.

As we’re standing there looking at Rich, he starts to speak very slowly in a voice that sounds like a robot

“ Rob, you must get out of here, Bush is right now assembling a swat team to raid this place. Pack up and get out now!”

Where the heck could we go, Rich, there isn’t time enough to find another hideout. Rich slowly raises his arm and points up at a UFO that’s hovering over us.

Just follow that UFO," said Rich , "it will lead you to safety”.

Tony and Dave, both ask at the same time, “What are we going to do Rob?”
" Tony, get the horses ready, Dave and I will get our gear and we’ll get the hell out of here."

We pack up the horses, throw Rich on top of one pack and tie him off so he can’t fall. Then we mount up and start after the UFO. This UFO is the size of a beach ball and it so close to the ground; it looks like we are chasing a bouncing ball across the desert. The UFO leads us up a long ridge to the bottom of a huge cliff.

As we watch, the beach ball UFO starts making a hole in the cliff face. Within a few minutes it has a huge hole in the side of the cliff. There is no noise or dust, the UFO looks like an eraser making a cave in the side of the cliff. In less then ten minutes the UFO has a good size cave made in the cliff wall, more then big enough for our outfit to enter.

We herd the horses into the cave, then entered ourselves. The UFO had placed a ball of material on the roof of the cave that gave off enough light that we had no trouble seeing. We sat Rich down and made him as comfortable as possible. By now Rich is making these noises like a computer dial up modem connection makes. He does not response to us in any way.

We leave Rich and wonder back to the entrance of the cave. The beach ball UFO was casting a pale yellow light down across the cave entrance, we had no trouble seeing through this light. We surmised that this light camouflaged the cave opening.

From the entrance we could look down the ridge and see the Hogan that was covering the entrance to the underground house, it was less then a mile away. As we look down the ridge, all of a sudden seven Blackhawk Helicopters come swooping up the canyon and surround the Hogan.

As we watch, the Blackhawks open fire, holly cow, machinegun, rockets, the works. They blast the Hogan to smithereens, within 30 seconds there’s nothing left but a dirt pile. The Blackhawks land and four commandos jump out of each one, they surround the area where the Hogan once stood. As they continue to secure the area, two more Blackhawks land and what looks like civilians dismount.

Rob, yells Dave, you are not going to believe this! He hands me the binoculars that he was using to observe the goings on. I focus the binoculars on the civilians that had dismounted from the Blackhawks. It’s George W. Bush!!! Can’t be, just can’t be the President.

Sure looks like Bush comments Dave. Ya, it sure does, I reply. As we continue to watch, Bush is walking around kicking the dirt, waving his arms around, and just screaming at the commandos. All the rockets and bullets have covered the trap door leading to the underground house, Bush is standing right on top of the door and doesn’t know it. This is too much for us, we fall down from laughing at these guys.

Finally we get control of ourselves, Dave, do you think that is the President. He’s supposed to be somewhere in West Virginia today.

Rob, that’s Bush, says Tony, I told you he was in direct control of this operation.

Well, how can he be here and be in West Virginia on the same day, I question?

Clones.

Clones?

Clones.

What do you mean Dave, are you saying that could be a Bush clone down there?

Either that or the one in West Virginia is, answers Dave.

What’s a clone, inquires Tony?

We turn and just stare at Tony, thinking have they CLONED George W. Bush?

No way, Karl Rove isn’t that crazy as to clone G.W. Bush. Good God, think of it, two, three, hell dozens of George W. Bush clones running around.

Rob, exclaims Dave, that’s it. That’s why the UFOs want you

What are you talking about Dave?

The UFOs want you to save the world from George W. Bush clones, that’s what I’m talking about.

Get the hell out, Dave, how would I do that?

A big commotion starts down by the helicopters, they are all jumping back into the Blackhawks and taking off. The Blackhawks circle the area, one of them flies right by the cave opening, but they can’t see it because of the vial of light coming from the UFO.

How in the hell am I and my little gang going to save the world from George W. Bush clones???


GI Dave Jones; Ex USAF Intel Officer.

King Rich; Suspected Extra-Terrestrial

IndianTony Begaye; The ugliest Indian in the world.


The Navajo Hogan that comouflaged the underground house.







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