Patch

….Tony Begaye speaks up, "let’s go, we’re wasting daylight. We need to get out in the desert where Bush’s guys can’t find us."

So we mounted up, Rob on his mule, Dave the ex A.F. intelligent officer, Rich who is most likely an ET or is under alien control, and the worlds ugliest Indian, Tony Begaye, an Indian that doesn’t ride horses. What a group! George Hayduke eat your heart out.

Off we head in a westerly direction across the slick rock. By noon the air temperature is well over 100 degrees and everyone but Tony is suffering.

Tony, I speak up, "we need a break."

" Another 2 miles" Tony replies, "and we’ll drop into a canyon where there is shade and water if we’re lucky."

"We need to hurry up", pipes up Rich, "I hear helicopters."

Galloping across the slick rock at a kidney busting, if not a ass busting pace, we drop down into a canyon, pull up under an overhanging piece of rock wall just as two Blackhawk helicopters pass, one on each side of the canyon.

Both Blackhawks are armed too the teeth. "Holly Cow, what the heck is going on? Dave, what have we done that the President has secret agents after us?"

"Don’t know, Rob," I had no Intel on anything like this.

We waited for an hour to make sure the Blackhawks didn’t return and then made off down the canyon. What beautiful country, the canyon we’re in is a typical slick rock canyon, narrow, twisting and dry as a bone. We rode down this canyon for two or three hours to a spot that had shade and a small spring with enough water to refill our canteens.

I started to tell Tony that it was to hot for us to travel and that we should wait till evening to move on. He disagreed, "we must travel during the heat of the day", he explained, "no one will expect us to do that." He explained that infrared devices work well after the desert starts to cool down, but are of little use when the desert is hotter then anything else. And they will be using infrared as well as night vision goggles.

We made it to Many Farms without any more problems. We rested here for a day, Tony got us re supplied and then headed out for Kayenta. We had to cross part of Canyon DeChelly National Monument, on the way to Many Farms, what a sight to see.

We had a big problem getting across highway 160 northeast of Kayenta. We had to make our way down one canyon, cross the highway, and then make our way back up another canyon on the other side of the road. As we were riding down the canyon toward the highway a huge thunderstorm was brewing up canyon from us. Tony said we had to get out of this canyon fast as most likely it was going to flash flood.

As we came out of the canyon and approached the road here comes two Chevy Blazer SUV’s, Bush’s agents again. As soon as they spotted us they pulled off the road into the wash, jumped out and pointed assault rifles at us.

As we waited to see what these guys were going to do, down off the opposite canyon wall comes a UFO, a small one, about the size of a large motor home. Tony said, "watch this, it should be fun." The agents with the guns were watching us and we were watching the UFO sneaking up behind them. All of a sudden the secret agents fired a dozen rounds over our head and started yelling freeze, freeze.

So we freeze, I mean what else can you do with four guys firing assault rifles at you? By now the UFO is only 100 meters behind the agents and slowly moving closer. One of the guys turned around and when he saw the UFO we could see his eyes fly wide open and his jaw drop. Before he could do or say anything the UFO lit up all four guys and both cars up with a pale blue light. The UFO keep the light on them about 4 seconds, then turned around and took off up over the canyon wall.

We watched to see what was going to happen and after a few minutes we realized the guys were froze or something. After a few minutes the agents started to move around, they put their guns in the cars, jumped in and tried backing out of the wash. Of course they were stuck in the sandy bottom of the wash. We watched as they jumped back out and tried getting the cars unstuck. As we’re watching we could hear a roaring sound coming from up the canyon," flash flood," yells Tony, "let’s get across the wash before it gets here." Off goes Tony, running like a jack rabbit, with us hot on his heels.

As soon as we get over the wash and across the highway we stop and turn to see what Bush’s dummies are doing. They are just standing around talking about how to get out of the wash. By now the roar of the flood is filling the whole canyon, but they pay no attention to either the flood or us.

We watch as the flash flood hit those guys and washed them away, gone in a second, all four guys and both Blazers washed down the canyon. Wow, Dave, Rich and I are in shock but Tony is laughing. "I told you it would be funny", Tony tells us, "that UFO messed up their brains with that blue light", he adds. "Hay, Tony, this isn’t funny", I yell at him, "we are getting in deep sh** here". That’s two helicopters, two Blazers and who knows how many people those UFO’s have wiped out. "Can’t blame any of that on us", said Rich, "We’re not directing the UFOs".

"We got to get out of here," says Tony, "we have to reach the next hideout before dark". So off we go again, up out of the canyon and back across more slick rock, which is now slick from all the rain. Plus we are starting to freeze our butts off from being wet from the storm. By now the storm is right on top of us, lightening, rain, and hail all pouring down on us.

We reached the next hideout just before dark, the storm was over and sun came out quickly drying us out and warming us. The hideout was a small cave overlooking the canyon that flash flooded. As we got settled in, we could see Blackhawk helicopters flying up and down the canyon.

"What do you think", I ask Dave?

"Most likely they are searching for the guys in the got washed away," he answers.

"Think we’re in big trouble"? I ask.

"Yes."

In the morning I wake up with the ugliest Indian in the world poking me with a stick. "Tony, do you have a better way to wake someone up?"
"No. This best way", he answers laughing. "And we got another problem", he adds.
"What?"
"Rich is missing, no sign of him."
"What do you mean missing, where could he go?"
"Don’t know Rob, but he’s gone and gone with no sign of leaving. Maybe a UFO got him."

Dave wakes and asks, "what’s going on?"

"Rich is missing", I tell him,"gone with no trace."

We look around some more to see if we can find out what happened, Dave came running over, "look I found the aluminum foil that Rich keeps around his head." We all walk over to where Dave found the foil, we looked around but there was nothing to see. Even Tony the Indian could find no sign.

We waited around most of the day to see if Rich would show up. By late afternoon it became clear Rich was gone. We saddled up the horses, packed up our camp, and took off.

After almost a week of dodging Blackhawks and Chevy Blazers full of secret agents, we finally made to near Kayenta, Arizona. Tony’s friend has a camp about ten miles from town, it’s a sheep camp. Well it looks like a sheep camp, buts it’s much more. What looks like a Navajo Hogan, is camouflage for an underground house. I’m talking about an eight room house, kitchen, bedrooms, living room, the works. All powered by solar panels. The guy that owns this place has a gazillion solar panels camouflaged as rocks, scattered all around the Hogan. The place has satellite TV, radio, phone, internet connection, the works. (Cold Beer too, Ya.)

The plan is hide out here for a day or so, then make our way toward Navajo Mountain. I’m going to use the time here to try and sort things out in my mind as to what is going on.

Most important is why are the UFOs helping me and where are they leading me? And, why does President Bush have a team of secret agents chasing us.

What happened to Rich?

And, Tony Begaye, seems to know a heck of a lot for an Indian living in the Navajo Nation.

My buddy, Dave, who was an U.S.A.F. intelligent specialist, doesn’t seem to know anything.

Anyhow, looks like we’ll be spending the 4th hiding in an underground house near Kayenta, Arizona.



Shortly after day break on the 4th of July, I was awakened by Dave yelling, "Rob come here quick, you’re not going to believe this."

Now what? I stumble outside where Dave and Tony are looking down on Rich who is sitting on the ground leaning against the corral fence. I run over to Rich," you Ok?" No answer, he’s just staring off into space.

As we’re standing there looking at Rich, he starts to speak very slowly in a voice that sounds like a robot

“ Rob, you must get out of here, Bush is right now assembling a swat team to raid this place. Pack up and get out now!”

Where the heck could we go, Rich, there isn’t time enough to find another hideout. Rich slowly raises his arm and points up at a UFO that’s hovering over us.

“Just follow that UFO," said Rich , "it will lead you to safety”.

Tony and Dave, both ask at the same time, “What are we going to do Rob?”
" Tony, get the horses ready, Dave and I will get our gear and we’ll get the hell out of here."

We pack up the horses, throw Rich on top of one pack and tie him off so he can’t fall. Then we mount up and start after the UFO. This UFO is the size of a beach ball and it so close to the ground; it looks like we are chasing a bouncing ball across the desert. The UFO leads us up a long ridge to the bottom of a huge cliff.

As we watch, the beach ball UFO starts making a hole in the cliff face. Within a few minutes it has a huge hole in the side of the cliff. There is no noise or dust, the UFO looks like an eraser making a cave in the side of the cliff. In less then ten minutes the UFO has a good size cave made in the cliff wall, more then big enough for our outfit to enter.

We herd the horses into the cave, then entered ourselves. The UFO had placed a ball of material on the roof of the cave that gave off enough light that we had no trouble seeing. We sat Rich down and made him as comfortable as possible. By now Rich is making these noises like a computer dial up modem connection makes. He does not response to us in any way.

We leave Rich and wonder back to the entrance of the cave. The beach ball UFO was casting a pale yellow light down across the cave entrance, we had no trouble seeing through this light. We surmised that this light camouflaged the cave opening.

From the entrance we could look down the ridge and see the Hogan that was covering the entrance to the underground house, it was less then a mile away. As we look down the ridge, all of a sudden seven Blackhawk Helicopters come swooping up the canyon and surround the Hogan.

As we watch, the Blackhawks open fire, holly cow, machinegun, rockets, the works. They blast the Hogan to smithereens, within 30 seconds there’s nothing left but a dirt pile. The Blackhawks land and four commandos jump out of each one, they surround the area where the Hogan once stood. As they continue to secure the area, two more Blackhawks land and what looks like civilians dismount.

Rob, yells Dave, you are not going to believe this! He hands me the binoculars that he was using to observe the goings on. I focus the binoculars on the civilians that had dismounted from the Blackhawks. It’s George W. Bush!!! Can’t be, just can’t be the President.

Sure looks like Bush comments Dave. Ya, it sure does, I reply. As we continue to watch, Bush is walking around kicking the dirt, waving his arms around, and just screaming at the commandos. All the rockets and bullets have covered the trap door leading to the underground house, Bush is standing right on top of the door and doesn’t know it. This is too much for us, we fall down from laughing at these guys.

Finally we get control of ourselves, Dave, do you think that is the President. He’s supposed to be somewhere in West Virginia today.

Rob, that’s Bush, says Tony, I told you he was in direct control of this operation.

Well, how can he be here and be in West Virginia on the same day, I question?

Clones.

Clones?

Clones.

What do you mean Dave, are you saying that could be a Bush clone down there?

Either that or the one in West Virginia is, answers Dave.

What’s a clone, inquires Tony?

We turn and just stare at Tony, thinking have they CLONED George W. Bush?

No way, Karl Rove isn’t that crazy as to clone G.W. Bush. Good God, think of it, two, three, hell dozens of George W. Bush clones running around.

Rob, exclaims Dave, that’s it. That’s why the UFOs want you

What are you talking about Dave?

The UFOs want you to save the world from George W. Bush clones, that’s what I’m talking about.

Get the hell out, Dave, how would I do that?

A big commotion starts down by the helicopters, they are all jumping back into the Blackhawks and taking off. The Blackhawks circle the area, one of them flies right by the cave opening, but they can’t see it because of the vial of light coming from the UFO.

How in the hell am I and my little gang going to save the world from George W. Bush clones???


Dave Jones; Ex USAF Intel Officer.

Rich; Suspected Extra-Terrestrial

Tony Begaye; The ugliest Indian in the world.


The Navajo Hogan that comouflaged the underground house.







Posted By Patches