Patch

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

 

American National Corporaton Parks


Will be renamed Grand Mountains National Corporation Park






Big Tits???


The American National Corporation Parks Inc. has offered the Bush Administration 15 Billion Dollars for all National Parks west of the Mississippi River. ANCP spokesmen have stated this is more then a reasonable amount for parks that as everyone knows that are money losers The Bush administration expressed great interests in this proposal but wants the ANCP to be responsible for environmental cleanup. ANCP have deemed this unreasonable as the NPS has never cleaned up any environmental issues in any park. ANCP spokesman stated that the government will have to be responsible for all environmental problems in the parks.

ANCP spokesmen also stated that contracts for corporation sponsorships are progressing rapidly. Disney has already expressed great interest in Yosemite National Corporation Park. Disney representatives stated "what a great place for a theme park; we plan on building as least three mountains for climbing, mountains where if you fall you can’t get hurt." They did express concern over Half Dome; "what good is half a mountain they asked, we would need to remove the remaining half just too keep people from asking what happened to this mountain., We do not want to get into geology and evolution and we can’t find any reference where divine intervention would explain the lost of half of a mountain."

A major Colorado brewery has expressed interest in sponsoring Rocky Mountain National Corporation Park, along with Grand Teton National Corporation Park. The brewery does have a problem with name “Grand Teton”, a spokesman for the brewery said we a huge problem with a park named after giant tits. We want everyone to know that this will be a family orientated park not someplace for nudist. We suggest the name Grand Mountains National Corporation Park. The Department of Interior had no objection to this name change, a source at Interior was quoted as saying, “What did a bunch of ignorant fur trappers know about tits?”

Extra; China, Japan, Taiwan and South Korea have agreed to loan the 200 billion $ the Bush Administration has promised for the Gulf Coast hurricane relief and reconstruction. The group has expressed concern for financing relief for hurricane Rita if needed. China as the leading lender has proposed an all around loan package to the Bush Administration. If the Administration is willing to use the west coast states of California, Oregon and Washington as collateral, the group would finance, Hurricane Katrina, (200 Billion $) Hurricane Rita (If needed) the Iraqi war for 2006 (100- 200 Billion $) and throw in NASA’s man to the moon mission (100 Billion $) and cover the 2006 budget deficit ( Unknown Billions of $).
George Bush was quoted as saying “I have no problem with putting a lien on California (Arnold can fend for himself.) But wanted to know how many electoral votes were at stake for Oregon and Washington. “He also inquired that if he threw in Arizona could he get a guarantee of another 100 billion $ to finance a tax cut for everyone earning over 10 million $ a year.”

On another note; George Bush was also quoted as saying “the only reason I accepted any responsibility or blame for FEMA’s non-action in Hurricane Katrina relief was to keep La. Sen. Mary Landrieu from punching me in the nose.”

Patch
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