Patch

More News; Halliburton has V.P. Dick Cheney half finished. V.P. Cheney has been released from the hospital as Halliburton has completed this year’s upgrade. Upgrades include a whole new bionic body from the waist down, replacing the knees that had worn out. Also Cheney’s heart was replaced with Intel’s latest chip that’s not even on the market yet. Halliburton stated this should end any future heart problems for the V.P. either physically, morally or emotionally. Cheney’s lungs have also been modified so that when the Bush Administration’s new clean air act is put in place the V.P. won’t have any problems with breathing or any worries of lung cancer. Modifications have also been made to his blood supply; the V.P. now no longer needs fluids to survive and so has no worries of mercury pollution in drinking water His administrations, oops Bush’s Administration, can continue to work on eliminating the clean water act. Halliburton is working overtime to complete Cheney’s upper body (to the neck) and hopes to complete the Cheney project in time for the 2008 primaries. A Halliburton employee has stated that by early 2007 Cheney will have been completely rebuilt and will be able to handle 8 more years of Republican domination of the White House. Cheney was over heard saying being President will be a vacation as compared to handling George Bush. Keeping him (Bush) on track has been the hardest job I’ve ever undertaken the V.P. added.

Patch also over heard that Cheney is trying to get everyone over the age of 50 to change their stances on abortion as new research is showing tremendous results for anti-aging drugs from stem cells obtain from abortions. (Researchers say the effect is only cosmetic so far but Cheney said “who over 50 yrs old is going to refuse any chance to look 20 yrs younger?) AARP is on board with this proposal.

Cheney has also stated quite strongly that Halliburton gets first bid on any sale of public land or national parks. There is no one more qualified to buy and misuse public lands then Halliburton. As long as I’m in office the V.P. went on, Halliburton is first in line. Do you think there is any corporation more entitled to the $200 billion dollar hurricane relief money then Halliburton? I think not he emphasized by slamming his biotic foot on the hospital floor putting a rather large hole in the floor. Fix it he yelled at his aid and went stomping out the door.

Patch