Patch

From the Borowitz Report

President Bush addressed the immigration issue head on today in a speech in Grand Rapids, Michigan: “To those who would illegally enter our country seeking jobs, let me say this: stay where you are, and eventually our jobs will come to you.”

After rece iving only muted support for his sweeping proposals to overhaul Social Security, President George W. Bush attempted to sweeten the pot today, offering all retirees the opportunity to serve in Iraq.

Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean today announced his candidacy for the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee, proclaiming, “It is time for the Democrats to pass the torch to a new generation of losers.”

A new survey of Democratic voters indicates that in a hypothetical match-up between Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and former presidential nominee John Kerry, most Democrats would choose suicide over either candidate.


Hours after a Homeland Security Dept. list of ideas for terror attacks against the U.S. appeared on several public websites, al-Qaeda terror kingpin Osama bin Laden took to the airwaves to blast the list for being “not detailed enough.”

After President George W. Bush signaled an end to calling French fries “Freedom Fries” at a dinner with French president Jacques Chirac this week, millions of jubilant Frenchmen poured into the streets in demonstrations of euphoria reminiscent of the end of World War II.Cries of “Vive Bush!” could be heard from the rooftops of Paris as French citizens celebrated the end to two years of living under the cruel yoke of “Freedom Fries” derision.

On the day that the U.N. Kyoto Protocol finally went into effect, President George W. Bush reaffirmed his strong support for global warming, arguing that the phenomenon helps to make the world a “toastier, homier” place.

Under pressure to detail an exit strategy for Iraq, President George W. Bush said at a White House briefing today that he would not designate an exact timetable for a withdrawal of U.S. troops but added, “The fastest way to bring the troops home would be through Iran.”

Just hours after confirming that the search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq was over, President George W. Bush leveled his harshest charge ever at Saddam Hussein, accusing the former Iraqi dictator of “knowingly telling the truth” about not possessing WMD in the months leading up to the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq.“After years of lying about his weapons, Saddam Hussein willfully decided to tell the truth about them,” Mr. Bush said. “His treachery knows no bounds.”

President George W. Bush today proposed splitting the strife-torn nation into a series of red and blue states “in recognition of the deep hatreds that divide the Iraqi people.”

Elsewhere, Vice President Dick Cheney blasted the United Nations’ handling of Iraq’s oil-for-food program, alleging that the organization accepted bribes and kickbacks that were rightfully Halliburton’s.

Elsewhere, experts said that if over-the-counter pain medications are banned and Viagra is not, women will say they have headaches more frequently than ever before

This one just cracks me up

In a tearful resignation speech at the White House today, Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge admitted for the first time that he is “totally color blind,” a condition that made choosing terror alerts “a living hell.”

Tennessee Supreme Court rules that a gas station is responsible for the actions of drunk driver because it sold him gasoline

The supreme court ruling states: "We conclude that a convenience store employee owes a duty of reasonable care to persons on the roadways including the plaintiffs, not to sell gasoline to a person whom the employee knows (or reasonably ought to know) to be intoxicated and to be the driver of a motor vehicle."

A Cincinnati Jury rules that parents of a 17 year old teen (at the time) are 70% responsible for their son's 2003 attack upon a 13 year old girl

"It sends a message to parents that even if the child is 11 days shy of 18 years old, a parent is liable for the supervision and control of their children and what they entrust them with," said attorney Stanley Chesley, who represented the Hilmer family.Benjamin White had grabbed Casey as she was jogging in suburban Indian Hills, dragged her to a wooded area and stabbed her in the face and neck.

BOSTON, Aug. 24 - A juvenile court judge who said he was trying to protect the public from a "serious problem" with guns set bail at $250,000 this week for a 12-year-old boy arrested after police officers investigating loud noises said he was found with a loaded gun.
Judge Paul D. Lewis, first justice of the Boston Juvenile Court, set the bail after prosecutors requested a $5,000 surety for the boy, who had no criminal record. His family was unable to post the bail, and he was being held in a youth detention center.


Bush Economics at work
Want a Wal-Mart job? Join the crowd 11,000 apply for 400 openings at retailer's new Oakland store

The company offers an average hourly wage in the Bay Area of $10.82.
The Bay Area also has lost hundreds of jobs to outsourcing and offshoring, compounded by all the jobs that never came back after the local economy collapsed.
"It's not about Wal-Mart -- it's about the rest of the labor market," Levy said. "If the rest of the labor market was strong, you wouldn't have 11, 000 people applying for 400 jobs
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/08/17/MNGDPE91AH1.DTL

In the San Francisco Bay area, the median home price hit $606,000, up 17.9 percent over July 2004, while a median-priced home in Southern California fetched $469,000, up 16.7 percent over the same month last year.
Wonder what kind of home a $10 an hour Wal-Mart employee can buy?


One huge reason why government doesn’t work for us the people!

Nonprofits Cloak Donors to Governor ( California)
· Tax-exempt groups provide millions from sources not made public. Ethics watchdogs say the practice avoids state disclosure laws.( http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-nonprofits24aug24,0,3189569.story?page=1&coll=la-home-headlines

Patch

A few questions if George Bush was a Democrat;

Would you have supported his going to war with Iraq?
Would you support the No Child Left Behind Act?
Would you support his administration having secret meeting with multi-national corporations?
Would you have supported the Patriot Act?
Would you support his non action on the U.S. / Mexican border?
Would you support his energy bill?
Would you support the Pork Bill (Aka Transportation Bill) that he signed into law?
Would you support CAFTA?
Would you support his not meeting anti-war mom Cindy Sheehan?
How about his plans for Social Security?
Then there is the Medicare Prescription Drug law.
What would you have to say about the Federal deficit?
Lets not forget Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay.
The outing of a CIA agent.


Would You Support A Democrat With This Track Record?

Why does having sex in the White House seem pretty trivial?

Patches

Retirement


Thinking of Retirement????

I just finished listening to a talking head on why we need private accounts for retirement, that we need x amount of savings to ensure a decent retirement and of course only the market can do this. Now I have watched my father’s generation (The generation of the depression and World War 2.) retire on defined company retirement plans, Social Security, and savings, and most have (had) more then a decent retirement. They retired in their own homes, close to their family and friends and were for the most part very happy. (Some complained that retirement was too much work.) Now I’m being told this is not possible. WHY??? What has changed that this is not possible? Social Security, anyone that takes a honest look at S.S. knows it can be funded relatively easy and it makes a solid and secure base for retirement. Company plans, change the laws back making companies fund and administer their plans properly to the benefit of retirees not the company.

I’ve said before and I’ll say again, if private accounts in the stock market are so good, then let’s change the law and put the S.S. trust fund into it. Lets also make our government start paying back the money borrowed from S.S. (This what politicians mean making our children pay for what we do today.) Company plans are invested and will provide the defined befit if administered correctly.

I grew up with the great god of compound interest driven into my brain and now we are having the great god of the “market “ being preached and I say bullsh**. The market is for people with money. Middleclass and lower Americans are making less money every year, they don’t have enough money to put into the market to produce the needed results. How much money can a Wall Mart employee put into the Market? Middle class America is slowly being eliminated, some of their wealth is trickling down to more and more people, but most of it is rising up to fewer and fewer people.

I think this trend will continue for a good many years yet and will continue until we take our government back from the corporations. We need protection from both multi-national corporations and Wall Street, if our government can’t provide this protection, who will?

Watch the market, a large multi-national corporation lays off 10.000 middle class jobs (Jobs that a person can raise a family on, one that can buy a home or a new car, jobs that can keep our economy running on.) and that company’s stock price goes up,(WTF) who benefits, who loses? Our government signs WTO,NAFTA, CAFTA and who knows what else, again who benefits? You’re 50 yrs. old and get laid off and the stock market goes up 100 points, this make you happy, this pay your bills, this send your child to collage? Retrain they say, retrain too What???

Patches

Ohio Governor Bob Taft


Minutes after apologizing and pleading no contest to charges that he failed to report gifts, Gov. Bob Taft pledged to finish his term - and denied that his administration sells access or contracts to big donors.

"There is no connection between golf or (campaign) contributions and state contracts in our administration. Contracts are awarded based on merit, based on qualifications, based on experience and performance under our administration."
(I wonder why then if this statement is true, why do corporations, businessmen, and big donors spend so much on lobbyist and entertaining politicians?)


Taft apologized in court, saying he had tried to set high ethical standards for his administration. (This is such a hard job when your own standards are so low.)

Taft pointed out that he was able to get sweeping tax reform in the two-year budget approved in June despite the investigation. (Well this excuses everything.)

Ohio politics (All politics) are so corrupt now it’s absolutely pathetic, makes one want to reach for the Budweiser can. Both parties are guilty and one party control just makes it worse. No end it sight, we have politicians arrested and fined and on we go, back to business.

Patches

From the LA Times

Fresno, Ca.

An 11-year-old Fresno girl charged with assault for throwing a rock at a boy during a water balloon fight was placed on six months informal probation this morning. If she complies, all charges will be dropped against her in six months, court officials said. The deal ends a prosecution that had drawn criticism. Under the charges filed, Maribel Cuevas faced a maximum of four years in custody. Fresno's mayor and police chief said Maribel's case was handled appropriately, and that assault with a deadly weapon was the proper charge for an act that might have had fatal consequences. If she had hit the kid on the temple, she could have killed him," said Fresno Police Sgt. Anthony Martinez. "Then the story would read, 'Little boy throws water balloon, little girl throws rock and kills him.' "

(Plea bargaining must stop, dangerous people should go to jail.)


DUH

No Charges Filed in Brawl Near Ballpark

By Andrew Blankstein, Times Staff Writer

Prosecutors declined to press charges Tuesday against three men arrested in connection with a violent altercation, in which four people were stabbed, between men police said were unlicensed merchandise vendors and private security guards outside Dodger Stadium last Sunday.

Good thing they weren’t throwing rocks.





That Paul Hackett came within 4 points of winning in a heavily Republican 2nd district is huge- and should be a major warning to the GOP that the people in the center have had just about enough of their B.S. Ohio’s 2nd district is 70% Republican and Jean Schmidt was a popular politician on the state level.
Carl Forti, spokesman for the National Republican Congressional Committee, acknowledged that the outcome fell far short of the party's desire, as expressed by Forti over the weekend, to bury Hackett in retaliation for attacking Bush. "We did not" bury Hackett, he said. "But it was a victory nonetheless."

Cincinnati’s Channel 12 latest pole (11PM 08/03/05) on the Iraqi War, (Is the war worth it?) 21% yes, 79% no; 3500 responded. The latest now is 4 local marines (Cincinnati area) were killed in Iraq today; all of Ohio paid a huge price today.

A GOVERNMENT GONE WILD!!!!!!!!

Having skirted budget restraints and approved nearly $300 billion in new spending and tax breaks before leaving town, Republican lawmakers are now determined to claim full credit for the congressional spending. Far from shying away from their accomplishments, lawmakers are embracing the pork, from graffiti eradication in the Bronx to bridges to nowhere in Alaska, from $277 million in road projects for Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) to a $200,000 deer-avoidance system in New York.
At 1,752 pages, the highway bill is the most expensive public works legislation in U.S. history, complete with 6,376 earmarked projects
When the year started, President Bush made spending restraint a mantra, laying out an austere budget that would freeze non-security discretionary spending for five years and setting firm cost limits on transportation and energy bills.
"If you look at fiscal conservativism (Conservatism period) these days, it's in a sorry state," said Rep. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.), one of only eight House members to vote against the $286.5 billion transportation bill that was passed the day before the recess. "Republicans don't even pretend anymore."
"You have to be courageous to not spend money," said Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), "and we don't have many people who have that courage."

Can you see all the Democrats sneaking out the back door laughing their collective asses off?

Who would have thought that conservatives would have made liberals look like pikers?

In the defense of the conservatives, they promise that as soon as they can cut more taxes for the rich, everything will be OK!


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/08/03/AR2005080301987.html

Exemptions From Ethics Rules Allow Lawmakers to Accept Almost Anything

Bill Allison, editor-at-large for the nonpartisan Center for Public Integrity. "Some of the most outrageous things that happen in Washington are perfectly within the rules."

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) has asked the ethics committee to determine whether he wrongly took trips abroad paid for by registered lobbyists (This is like the fox asking all the other foxes if it is ok for a fox to be in charge of the hen house.)

http://jjoats.blogspot.com/2005_05_01_jjoats_archive.html

Bernadette Noe


In yet another surreal twist in Ohio’s “coin-gate” scandal, the wife of Bush’s chief Ohio fundraiser, Tom Noe—who is currently embroiled in campaign finance and money laundering probes—surprised poll workers and observers alike by disrupting the ballot count during the 2004 general election, RAW STORY has discovered.
Bernadette Noe, who served dual roles as chairman for the Lucas County Republican Party and the Lucas County Board of Elections, sent twelve “partisans” into a warehouse on Election Day, according a memo authored by Ohio’s Director of Campaign Finance Richard Weghorst who was present at the time.
Ms. Noe was an advocate of Diebold’s optical scan software as chair of the Lucas County Board of Elections. In April 2004, she and another fellow Republican board member voted to approve a $350,000 contract with Diebold to lease machines for the election. The county was forced the lease the equipment after a deadlock and a rebuke from Blackwell.
Diebold has faced scrutiny in Ohio, particularly after comments by the firm’s chief executive in 2003 to Ohio Republicans in which he declared he was "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year."
One Ohio election official recently admitted a Diebold lobbyist offered him $10,000 in an effort to woo the county to purchase Diebold machines, which he diverted to the local Republican Party.
She is also involved in a scandal surrounding an aide to Ohio governor Bob Taft (R) staying for a reduced rate at her vacation home.

Patch